The five best excuses to never use

The problem with anything new is that we dread the moment when we notice something amiss - the first spot on a clean tablecloth, the first crow's-foot at the corner of the eye, the first scratch on your new car. But what about if you make a ding on a brand new car that you've borrowed?

It was the parking meter's fault

It's not your fault if you're backing up a new car, thinking you see everything but actually seeing nothing and suddenly...a little bang ... nothing too serious, but what do we see? Well, the rear bumper, which originally had a pristine convex shape, has now taken on a concave look. At this point and in this modern era, you realize that bumpers no longer serve as indestructible shock absorbers.

My kids' favourite, Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear, missed his touch-down landing

It's not your fault if your better half removed the training-wheels from your oldest kid's bike last week. Up until yesterday, everything went well; in fact, the car took up less than half of the driveway. It didn't make a pretty picture - the bike handle, that is, the one missing its protective rubber cover and the one that did the damage. But what are you going to do? We can't send our kids out to play on the streets nowadays!

A tornado lobbed a cow on my car

Not really, but...Not a cow exactly, but it really was windy, gale force winds! You had no idea that the retainers holding down the temporary car shelter had loosened. It's not your fault if the shelter's creator had designed it to fly up, up and away and glide smack dab onto your obnoxious neighbour's car.

A squeegee guy attacked me

Such are the speaker posts installed at DriveThru Service outlets. It's not your fault if you have to edge really close to it and its shape doesn't conform to that of your car. The order person was deaf, you had to get closer and you didn't see the other post. Ah yes, the one serving to protect the speaker from cars getting too close? It had to be said!

The countryside was breathtaking

Driving along such a frozen landscape, enough to make skeleton racers dream, your eyes riveted to this horrifyingly beautiful scene, it's not your fault if the motorist in front of you decides to brake suddenly! Plus, you simply don't understand how he was able to brake on this ice sheet and not you. No explanation required, just divine intervention to save the hare scuttling across the road and to punish your car for its bad vibes!

It's best to take life's nasty surprises with a grain of salt and a dose of humor. Cars are just as unbreakable as plates. Even if we're careful, divine interventions, or just some minor mishaps, can change the look of the bumper... And let's not forget, bodywork repairers do a great job, so why not continue to encourage them!