Save your aggression for the field

The other day I watched my 2-yr-old grandson teabag his bath water. Those particular baby boy parts are adorable (but only for a very short time, guys!), like they are on a kitten, and let's face it, my grandson is a knockout, so it was pretty cute. He did it over and over for quite some time, all the while grinning down at the water.

In my experience - except in periodic blinding flashes of inspiration in which they produce great works of art, build business empires that last generations, or instigate world wars that kill millions - not much changes as boys become men.

They are, for the most part, charming and harmless. They like dirt bikes. They like shooting BB guns at birds. They like setting fires. They like slapping each other on the butt. They like dipping their body parts in stuff.

Mostly, it's all good. Vive la difference and all that.

And yet, vehicularly, they make me fear for my life.

Here's a quote I ran across while recently researching a story on gender differences in driving habits:

According to one study: ‘While the experts seem to consider aggression a bad thing, many male drivers thought it was a strength. "On the road, I think the most important things are intuition and aggressiveness," said Mark Volinsky, 24, who has been driving for six years. "It's hard even for me to conjure those up driving around the city, so I can't imagine someone like my 45-year-old mom being able to function in that kind of dog-eat-dog environment."'

This was said by an actual grown-up man. A grown-up man who thinks he needs to "conjure up" the proper mental and emotional tools to properly function in the "dog-eat-dog environment" he considers road travel to be. A man who thinks "intuition" and "aggressiveness" trump skill.

(First, let me dash off a quick letter. "Dear Mr. Volinsky. You are an idiot ...")

OK, now let me share with you that in Massachusetts, a 54-yr-old man killed 42-yr-old man with a crossbow (I mean, really) over a traffic dispute. And this happened after they'd had the foresight to decide to pull over and settle the matter. Settle it they did.

In Seattle, a 57-yr-old man killed a 21-yr-old student because the younger man couldn't turn off his Jeep's alarm.

Two 26-yr-old Virginian men were drag-racing up the George Washington Parkway when they crossed the median and hit oncoming vehicles. Three died, while the one surviving drag-racer went to prison for a decade.

A prominent Maryland lawyer and former state legislator rear-ended a woman who was then six months pregnant. When she approached his car, he hit her in the face, breaking her glasses and blackening her eye.

The actor Jack Nicholson took a golf club and whacked the crap out of a Mercedes in California because he believed its driver had cut him off.

A Langley, B.C., man ran a car off the road, and then took the trouble to swerve to hit one of the men who'd been in it, killing him, as he stood in the road.

That is what aggression does on the road. I know you can't help it. All that testosterone. But even though we don't get it, we support you in boxing, hockey, bull fighting, caber-tossing, and rugby. Keep the aggression out of the car. Yes, there are a smattering of incidents involving women, but the majority by far involve men..

I will admit that there are times when women are vapid, or over-emotional, or bitchy, or whatever other stereotype you guys think we are. But when it comes to driving, our way is better than your way. Your way kills more people, and some of those people are somebody's grandson. And that is not OK, even if it gets you to work faster, or is more fun, or makes your d**k feel bigger.